It can be hard to see your child struggling socially. It can be even harder to know what to do to help, but it is not an impossible problem. Here we’ll go over some reasons children struggle socially and ways you can empower them to overcome their challenges.
Inner and Outer Influences
Understanding why your child is struggling socially can start with examining two different aspects of social interaction that might be influencing them.
Consider your own personality. Are you typically outgoing or withdrawn? Oftentimes, kids mimic the behaviors demonstrated by the people around them. They might model their actions by observing how a parent or their siblings act.
Influences on social interaction can also come from within. Consider your child’s personality. Are they introverted? Do they prefer to spend time on their own? They could have a less social personality.
A lack of confidence or anxiety could be contributing to their difficulties. They might be unsure how they should act in social settings. They might be overwhelmed when having to navigate situations on their own because it’s new to them.
So how do we build that confidence?
Practice, Practice, Practice
For many children, exposure, practice, and time are the key ingredients to helping a child feel more comfortable in social settings.
You can be intentional in helping them by observing what areas your child needs practice in. For example, are other people talking for your child? Does your child ever get the chance to speak for themselves? Or does an adult or sibling step in before they can?
If that’s the case, give your child time to respond on their own. Instead of rushing through situations for the sake of time, let them speak for themselves.
They may also need encouragement. Remind them that they can handle talking to others. They need to know that they are capable.
If they need practice with one-on-one situations, you can recommend practicing with one of their friends. They might have friends that they are more comfortable with than others. You could suggest your child practice chatting with one friend that they feel safe around.
What if your child is comfortable with conversation but challenged by group dynamics? You can find a group they’d be interested in joining. If your family attends church, your child can join a youth group or AWANA club depending on their age. They could play a new sport or join a Girl Scouts/Scouts program. There are a lot of opportunities for group involvement for your child. It’s just a matter of finding one they like.
Validate Your Child’s Feelings When They Are Struggling Socially
No matter how your child is struggling, make sure they feel seen and heard. They might need time to talk through their emotions. Let them calm down before asking them to discuss. Always validate how they’re feeling. Social interaction is a common struggle and they shouldn’t be afraid to discuss it or feel ashamed.
When they’re ready to talk about what is wrong, work with them to find a solution. You and your child can be a team, let them know you’re there to support them. You can suggest solutions and find the ones they feel comfortable with. Working as a team with your child is a path to solving any number of challenges they face.
Supporting Emotional Regulation
The ability to regulate one’s emotions is a concept that is frequently discussed in tandem with kindergarten readiness. If your child is five or younger, it’s likely that they are still learning how to cope in social settings. Their natural or practiced sense of comfort (or lack thereof) in social settings is the driver. With time and maturity, they should learn how to be more cognizant of how they are feeling and how to manage those feelings.
If your child is neurodiverse or you suspect that they are, they may need more intentional support from you for learning how to regulate their emotions, especially in a group setting.
Getting Professional Support
One of the unique things about Compassionate Solutions is that we are a team of private practitioners. Our office’s services range from therapy and counseling to educational evaluations to tutoring.
If you are wondering if your child could benefit from working with a professional, please contact us. We are happy to discuss options and figure out together how we can best serve your family. Ultimately, the goal would be to help give your child the tools, resources, and confidence to participate in social settings.
